“It’s been so long since we last talked.”
Do you think sometimes this is the case with your loved one?
I don’t mean “pass the salt”, “who’s picking the kids up from school?”.
I mean “how are you doing?”, “fine”. No. That’s not what I’m talking about.
How about this. “how are you really feeling? I see you’ve been so busy lately, running the kids around, working hard to pay the bills, striving to get that promotion, looking after your sick mother, and so much more. You seem tired, exhausted really, we don’t cuddle anymore, really cuddle, we only have that perfunctory kiss on the cheek as we pass each other on the way out or back in the house. When was the last time we made time for each other, made love, had a quiet meal alone, talked about each other, to each other?”
Sounds hard, sad even.
It’s not too late, never too late to hit the pause button for a moment and remember each other.
Pack the kids off to their bedrooms, turn off the tv and the phones, forget work, housework, it will all still be there in a couple of hours.
Light a candle, open a bottle of wine, turn on some quiet music and look at each other, maybe even hold hands.
Reminisce, remember when you first met, first dated, where you went, what you did, think about the things that you’ve laughed at, talk about your dreams, share your visions, make plans.
Above all, say this “I love you”.
I’ve missed talking to you recently.
We’ve been having a really busy time.
Nothing specific, just life, family, work, study. You know, the day to day things that take up time.
Not time wasted, time spent well, but time gone.
In the next week I start University and my husband has a break from his study. Our study time tables will be opposite for the next 3 years or so.
Our time will be, well, busy.
Why am I sharing this with you? Just to remind you, as I remind myself, not to get so busy that we forget to take a moment, a coffee, a meal, to share time with our loved ones.
Time is indeed precious. Can’t be bought, sold, given away, stolen, but can be shared.
“Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t even have to make your subject and verb agree to serve…You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
This could have been written about my husband.
He has the heart of a servant. He brings me breakfast in bed everyday. Brings me whatever I need, makes me coffee whenever I ask, drives me everywhere (even up the wall at times).
He serves our children well too. He see a need and fills the void.
We should all be better this way.
Serving is his “love language” and we all have different ways of loving, but what Martin Luther King Jr is saying here is so true.
We can all serve. It doesn’t matter how much we have or don’t have, we can all do something.
Make a meal for a friend, read a book to someone who is sick, help a child with their homework, help a neighbour with the garden. Anything.
Saying we love someone is easy, doing love takes a little bit more. ~ The Marriage Files
“Don’t be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Men are more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present.” ~ Sir John Lubbock
“You are beautiful…when you let friends have their space, when you believe, when you laugh, or are moved to tears, when you let it just roll right off your back, when you talk about your dreams, when you help a turtle across the road, when you try to do the right thing even when it comes out wrong, when you love.” ~ Anonymous